LETTERS: Failure - So What?

( Original Letter : February 16, 2003 )


To my dear friends in Christ;


Greetings my friends! What a JOY it is for me to write for you once more. May you all be in good condition and away from sickness of any form. At the time this letter was written, there was still the looming threat of the possible US-Iraq war. I hope that you all have been praying for us here, praying for peace to avert war.

The Eid Holidays have just concluded. This is what’s considered as the New Year’s celebration here by the Muslim people, and during this period, many are going on the Hajj pilgrimage to Makkah, their Holy City. One thing I noticed though with those going on Hajj: before they leave, they would greet everybody and ask forgiveness for all their shortcomings, and failures, real or imagined, from everyone.

Speaking of Failures, the Lord inspired me to write something about this critical topic for you. I know that this would be a good guide for those who are suffering from the setbacks caused by failures that they encountered in their lives. I know…. because I experienced them myself first hand.

I heard a lot of stories, both from RP and from other countries, about people being so depressed because of their failures that they would lose all motivation to go on with their lives. Others would even go the extremes and would eventually commit suicide ( some would even take others with them before they kill themselves. ) Failure in business; failure in their political career; failure in marriage; failure in their love life… the list would go endless. Likewise, you and I have undoubtedly experienced failure one time or another in our lives. But what has been our response to failure? Did we just give up, wither and die like the rest of them? Or did we pick ourselves up from the ashes and start afresh?

Failure is not the end of all things, nor is it the indication that your world had just ceased to exist. It should give us the motivation to go on with our lives and strive to be better. Have you ever pondered on these things when you experienced failure? ….maybe it’s the way we do things that caused us to fail…. maybe, it’s our perspective in life… maybe the Lord is trying to get our attention or trying to tell us something… maybe He’s trying to correct what we’re doing and put us in the right path – because He loves us.

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.”
Hebrews 12: 5b-6 NIV

I view failure as a signal from the Lord that, ooops, I’m straying from the path – okay… regroup!!! It’s painful actually, most of the time, but what we gain after the experience would be more than what we bargained for, or even deserve. We become stronger, wiser, braver, etc and etc. Mary Tyler Moore puts it beautifully :

“You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. ”
Mary Tyler Moore

And yes, the Bible explains this as clear as the day :

“Our father disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. ”
Hebrews 12: 10-11 NIV

There are a lot of instances in the Bible where people failed, but got up and started anew, then finally made it big. Take Peter for example ( the Apostle… not me… hehehe ), he was overly zealous in saying to Jesus that he would die, while others would flee, before anyone could take Jesus away. But what happened? He disowned Jesus! Three times!!! ( see Luke 22: 59-62 ). Wala na siyang mukhang maihaharap pa kay Jesus no’n, after what he has done. But when Mary Magdalene, together with James’ mother and Salome, went to the tomb of Jesus where He was laid after His death, they got this message from an angel :

“But when they looked up, they saw that the stone which was very large, had been rolled away. They entered the tomb, then they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. ‘Don’t be alarmed’ he said ‘You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples, AND PETER, He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him, just as He told you.’ ”
Mark 16: 4-7 NIV

Take note of this passage… “But go… tell His disciples AND PETER.”!!! Special mention pa siya. The others only ran away, but he denied Jesus three times… but he was mentioned specifically by the Angel. Now, how’s that for someone who failed miserably.

I experienced the same thing in my walk with the Lord. Three times He called me to serve Him. Three times I responded…. but all three failed, one way or the other. First was in college…. in a religious group for students there at UST. Next was at ELIM Community, where I started serving in the Music Ministry and as part of the Art Committee. The last one was when I served as head of the Singles For Christ Unit in Amkor/Anam. Everything was going well, until I got a “good” job wherein I earned dollars while staying in the Philippines. Paldo tayo noon, mga kaibigan! But even though I gained a lot back then materially, I lost touch with the SFC Group, which was my ministry. Then I slowly went back to my old ways – goodtime dito, goodtime doon – paldo nga kasi e, ang daming pera. Then my relationship with Mommy Jing got strained…. and we went farther apart as I went deeper and deeper into the pit. So, what did the Lord do? He took away my job, plain and simple. I lost the job, and had no stable income for more than a year, and was up to my neck in debts.

But when I look back through those days of struggle, I knew that the Lord was with me all the way. Kinalabit Niya ako, mabuti naman at lumingon ako. I got my life back on track. I got a new job and slowly recovered in that aspect. Mommy Jing and I grew stronger in our relationship – and were rewarded with Kenji!!! And my relationship with Him has been growing ever since.

I experienced failure big time, but the Lord never let me go. He helped me get up, and offered me another opportunity to serve Him anew – this time with CFC and SFC of Muntinlupa… o ‘di ba? Just like Peter, my tokayo, in the Gospel. The Lord, after His resurrection, asked Peter three times “Simon, do you truly love me more than these?” and he replied three times also “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” (see John 21:15-17). His previous failures have been vindicated by the Lord, and he was restored to His graces. That was His personal calling for me too, when He told me to go back to him --- Peter, feed my lambs…. and I responded…. and won’t ever back down, never again!

So, my brothers and sisters, don’t lose heart whenever you experience failure. Ask yourselves the questions I outlined to you earlier. And remember these words of Paul, and you would find yourself in the right track :

“But whatever was to my profit, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.. ”
Philippians 3: 7-8 NIV

I hope that you received something from what I just shared with you. It would be a great joy for me if I could hear some response from the rest of you, as what I felt when I received emails from the others. I urge you to share these letters to the other SFC’s or other members from your own community (ask me if you need a copy of the previous ones) who don’t have access to the internet. Print them, give it to them, and/or read them during your household or prayer meetings – they could make a good discussion topic if you want to.

Continue to pray for me and for the situation in the Middle East. Please pray for my three friends : Kuya Efren; Kuya Muloy and Kuya Tony; who are still stranded here in KSA awaiting the result of their complaint against their employer from the Saudi Labor courts. Also, please pray for the soul of our Uncle Boy, who recently passed away. I always pray for you back there. I hope you do the same for me too. May the Lord bless you all and keep you, and may He provide you with everything you need, in Jesus’ Name.

Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure; it means you have not succeeded.
Failure doesn’t mean you accomplished nothing; it means you have learned something.
Failure doesn’t mean that you have been a fool; it means you had a lot of faith.
Failure doesn’t mean you’ve been disgraced; it means you were willing to try.
Failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it; it means you have to do
something in a different way.
Failure doesn’t mean you are inferior; it means you are not perfect.
Failure doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your life; it means you have
a reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn’t mean you should give up; it means you must try harder.
Failure doesn’t mean you’ll never make it; it means it will take
a little longer.

-- unknown --

Shalom,
Brod. Pete


“Letters from my Sojourn”
© 2008 by Peter Allan C. Mariano


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“ He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor requite us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.”

Psalm 103:10-12 RSV

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